We Create Internal Drama to Avoid Real Work – The Startup – Medium


We creëren intern drama om echt werk te vermijden

Mijn grootste mindset-hindernis overwinnen.

Sinds ik van een traditionele baan afstap, heb ik meer geleerd over mijn denkwijze en mijn ongezonde gewoonten dan over alles wat te maken heeft met mijn zakelijke of marketingvaardigheden. Dingen waarvan ik dacht dat het er toe deed, eigenlijk niet. Ik leerde wat mijn prioriteiten waren, maar niet zonder enige diepe zelfreflectie om beperkende overtuigingen en onnodig drama los te laten. Door dagelijks mindset te doen heb ik mijn ogen geopend voor mijn zelfvernietigende neigingen en hoe ik drama als een schild gebruikte om echt werk te vermijden.

I used to thrive on my internal drama. It made me feel safe and protected and gave me an immediate excuse to not get things done. I used it as a crutch to justify low productivity and to stop me from going after things I wanted. Most of the drama I thought was real, actually had straightforward and obvious solutions that I was avoiding. The drama was keeping me warm and safe because I knew once I got rid of it, I would have nothing to hide from and no excuses to stop me from doing hard work.

Letting go of that drama wasn’t easy, but it was undeniably the most significant mindset win I achieved once I realized I was allowing it to control my life. I think deep down, every one knows what they need to do, but don’t have the mental tools to overcome those obstacles. The solutions are obvious, but recognizing that you’re hiding behind the drama isn’t.

For example. I used to hate my job. I hated waking up every day. I hated my commute. I hated my desk. My computer. Everything around me. The obvious solution? Quit my job. Find a new one.

Ok, it’s easier said than done. But it’s NOT THAT HARD. I was making it way harder in my mind. The constant drama of “I hate my life and I’m too tired from my job to find a new one, and it’s going to be really difficult, and I’m going to have to start from scratch and work hard to find something else."
It’s so dramatic. It’s so unnecessary. It’s all to distract myself from the fact that I need to do the real work in order to change my situation.

I was so fixated on wallowing that I let the drama define me. Who would I even be if I wasn’t this self-deprecating, unhappy person? That person is who I am, and it’s safe being that person.

Did I want a new job? Because I wasn’t even applying. And yet I was constantly complaining. I was so in my feelings about not having a new job while taking zero action.

My excuse was that I was busy or too tired from the job that I hated. I actually wasn’t busy at all, and I said I was tired but stayed up until 2 am every day. I was just deflecting and thriving on the drama because it was easier.

It was also more relatable to the people around me who also hated their jobs. It almost became a talking point.

How’s work? Terrible.

No one who hates their job wants to hear about how fulfilled you are by your work. (which is why I don’t talk to my friends about work anymore…but that’s another story)

I wish I could say I had this self-discovery back then, but it wasn’t until recently that I had the revelation when trying to unpack smaller, day-to-day things that caused me to get caught up in internal drama.

I have sooo many emails to follow up on. I don’t want to do them but they’re my priority so I can’t do anything else until I do them, but I hate sending emails so instead I’ll just do nothing.

D R A M A. Just send the damn emails. Most of them are saying the same thing anyways. Don’t make the work harder than it needs to be. Go with the simple solution. Stop making things difficult for no reason.

This company I really want to work with is not answering my emails.

More drama. Stop thinking about it and find other companies who want to work with you. Send out more pitches and proposals so that you’re not fixated on ONE company who isn’t emailing you back.

Moral of the story. Just do what needs to be done. One thing at a time.

Don’t post about your workload or complain to your friend. Don’t let the drama of it consume you. Just do the work. Once you can get out of your head and just do what needs to be done, life starts moving on and those things feel so insignificant. They become checks in boxes.


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Sarah Aboulhosn is een schrijver en contentstrateeg die dol is op moordpodcasts, over oceanen vliegt, stand-up comedy. Lees meer over hoe zij en hoe ze bedrijven helpt groeien op www.sarahaboulhosn.com .


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